The aforementioned TNA Knockouts Holiday Music Video. May require Kleenex.
TNA was an absolute joke. An also ran. A place where un-contracted WWE wrestlers went to die…or at least earn another shot with Titan. Then all of a sudden it became the best fucking thing in Wrestling ever.
Ok. That is hyperbole for sure. Impact doesn’t reach the heights of the WWE Attitude Era that we all so desparately want to re-live, but it does offer solid programing week in and week out, with logical character progression, intriguing storylines and outstanding wrestling action.
Some of my fave TNA highlights this year:
Bully (ahhh screw it…I am calling him Bubba…sue me WWE. Actually, please don’t sue me) has long been one of the best heel promos in the business, coupled with the hard hours he has been putting in at the gym (CALF-ZILLA) means that this guy is now ready to TAKE OVER. Even an unexpected face-turn hasn’t stopped the big guy’s momentum…here is hoping a title run comes his way in 2013.
Aces and Eights
It has been all out gang war-fare in 2012 with the introduction of ‘Outlaw’ bikies Aces and Eights into the TNA fold. Sure it seems like the writers have been watching a little bit too much ‘Sons of Anarchy’ and decided to incorporate it into the wrestling ring…but hey….it works for me! It certainly works better than the Twin Peaks writing staff trying to shoe-horn their love of the Civil War doco into Benajmin Horne’s Season 2 story arc. WHY?
Devon as the suprise ‘Sergeant at Arms’ has just that…a genuine surprise. I thought the guy was done and dusted at TNA. Should Bully Ray be a part of the group? Ab-so-freakin-lutely. Will he? At first I was certain, but with the direction his character has taken of late I am not so sure.
Let’s hope to see more of those masks come loose in 2013. Luke Gallows reveal was great, but lets meet some of the other folks. Ready for my conspiracy theory? I think Wes Briscoe is a Aces and Eights plant, which is why D-LO Brown (who is the Aces and Eights VP) replaced Al Snow as Gut Check judge and gave the deciding vote to give Wes a contract.
Cowboy James Storm vs Bobby Roode at Bound for Glory
This is may match of the year for 2012. Just good, old-fashioned, blood and guts brawling all over the arena. When I say ‘blood and guts’ I wasn’t bluffing either, Storm hit an amazing gusher and had really gross gooby bits of blood hanging down from his forehead into his beard, just basically everywhere. This is how you end a fued. Fuck…it’s how you book a fued. These guys have been waiting the better part of a year to get at each other and we finally got this amazing pay off.
While on the topic of Booby Roode…it must be said…this guy easily has the best entrance in all of TNA. His entrance music is suitably grandiose and when he stands on the turn buckle and looks up to make eye-contact with the ‘birds eye view’ cam…I am know to get goosebumps. Great stuff.
Signing of the year. A 2012 version of Val Venis but even sleazier and a heck of a lot funnier. I liked the ‘reality’ aspect of his introduction to the company, publicly attacking Al Snow at TNA events. Sure it was contrived but it created a buzz. I am not sure that he shares all that much chemistry with Matt Morgan, I would much rather see this dude strike out on his own. I also happend to catch one of his Pro-Wrestling Guerilla matches on DVD this year and his workrate is pretty impressive. Even when wrestling a chick. He is also dating porn star Alison Tyler! RESPECT.
Make sure you check out the TNA Knockouts Christmas video for the ridiculous Joey Ryan cameo appearance.
The wrestler I have masturbated most to in 2012. Nuff Said.
Yeah. I am just kidding with this one. An absolute clunker. But funnily enough a storyline that WWE then thought to replicate with AJ and John Cena. SMH.
Austin Aries and Jeff Hardy
The story behind the fued has been a bit meh…but the workrate has been nothing less than phenomenal. Also…do you think Austin Aries looks a bit like Christian Bale? He does. Admit it. And Kid Kash looks a bit like Daniel Craig.
Definitely looking forward to seeing where TNA takes me in 2013. Hopefully even less of Hogan and a focus onbuilding more of their already amazing talent roster. And another Gail Kim title run.
Well. I tried one of these suckers in 2011. I got all the way through to # 2 and couldn’t be fucked posting # 1. David Letterman does one of these fuckers 5 nights a week. I also didn’t post anything else on Tumblr for the rest of the year. Although I did trawl Tumblr on numerous occassions perving on Tigerr ‘Juggs’ Benson. In fact I have maintained a fairly shallow presence online in 2012. My tweets are down. My posts of Snowman’s Raincoat Reviews have been sporadic at best.
But hey…new year means I can start afresh right? Here is to having a bigger and better online presence in 2013. Maybe. No promises.
To kick things off…a ‘Top Ten’ list. Oh…the intended # 1 for last year was my trip to New York Comic-Con. Which was fucking amazing by the way.
# 2 Supanova
So…uh….this tumblr thing didn’t exactly work out for me right?
I have been slack (just like with every other blog I have ever attempted) but fuck it…let’s get back into it shall we?
My #2 fave thing about 2011? Supanova!! My first ever comic/pop culture convention!
I went to Supanova back in April with wifey and my nephew (who cosplayed as The Joker!). I am biased of course, but my nephew certainly had one of the better Joker costumes on display.
Some of my highlights:
I met Charisma Carpenter! Yep…Cordelia from Buffy and Angel. She was also in Malibu Shores with the girl who go the hair cut in Felicity. Remember her? Does anyone even remember that show?
I also met Chris Claremont the famous X-Men writer. He didn’t create the X-Men but he did have an amazing run on the title during the iconic period of the characters. I sat through one of his Q & A sessions with the crowd. Quite an interesting dude. He didn’t seem very impressed with my Frank Miller Batman T-shirt though. It featured an image of Batman punching a corrupt Gotham cop in the face. Claremont was like…why is Batman punching the cop?!? I didn’t see any Dominatrix babes dressed as Storm, but of course that is a whole other story…
Greg Capullo was another comic great that I met at the convention. Really nice bloke and buff! Dude was packing some serious muscle. This was before his run on Batman was announced so I got a couple of copies of the ‘Haunt’ TPB signed and a special edition print he did featuring the Violator from Spawn and a Koala. heh.
Kirby Krackle! I had never heard of these guys prior to visiting…and now I am a huge fan! Fantastic ‘Geek Rock’ with plenty of great comic and video game references in their lyrics. Check out all three of their albums and it truly sucks that Ring Capacity didn’t make it on to the Green Lantern soundtrack.
oh….Simon Pegg and Nick Frost! How could I forget. These guys did a great Q&A promoting their alien buddy/buddy comedy ‘Paul’. Very funny. An autograph from these guys were pretty highly sought after so we didn’t bother lining up.
But probably the thing I loved the most…was just the genereal atmosphere of a comic convention! Being with ‘my people’ a whole room packed with like minded geeks, people who aren’t afraid to show their love of four colour awesomeness. I snagged a number of picture but I think my fave was of this cutie dressed as Black Canary:
I am heading back to Supanova in 2012. Modern day Marvel architect Brian Michael Bendis and Smallville’s own Allison ‘Chloe’ Mack have been announced!
# 3 The US of A
A whole country gets in my Top Ten?
This year I visited the United States. My first ever trip overseas.
My super-awesome, hard-working wifey Lady Deathsheep was awarded Employee of the Year at our local casino and as a result….we scored a trip for two to the Global Gaming Expo in Las Vegas!
I won $380 in Black Jack while in Vegas, but lost $100 on the Star Wars poker machine. High roller eh? The shows in Vegas were fantastic, we went to Jubilee (probably the single largest collection of boobs I will ever see in my life), Penn & Teller (I will never look at that sawing a woman in half trick the same way again), The Lion King (It was my wife’s choice ok?? Still pretty awesome though) and La Reve (we didn’t get a chance to catch a Cirque De Soleil show, however La Reve features stunning water based acrobatics). The Electronic Gaming Expo (gambling not video machines) was a lot more exciting that I expected. I got to sit in the Ecto-1 from Ghost Busters and snapped a photo with Porn Starlet McKenzee Miles.
New York was my fave part of the whole trip. Comic Con was simply amazing (but I will talk about that next post). We did all the touristy/sight seeing things in NY, checked out the Times Square (like almost every day), Statue of Liberty, Central Park, Rockefeller Center we even visited the site of the Occupy Wall Street protesters in Zuccotti Park. All up we spent 11 days in the Big Apple. We also saw Spider-man the Musical. It. was. brilliant! Spidey swings all over the theater right out over your head.
Next stop: Miami! We spent 3 nights in Miami at the Grand Beach Hotel…and we did sweet fuck all by hang out of the beach and the pool…get drunk and stuff ourselves with food. Awesome.
You can’t do a trip to the US without a stop at Disneyland. Like most kids growing up, I always dreamed of taking a trip to ‘The Happiest Place on Earth’ and I had a fantastic time. Although we took the plunge at Splash Mountain, I couldn’t convince my wife to ‘flash’.
Last stop was LA! We did a bunch of tours, including the celebrity homes tour (I saw Quentin Tarantino’s Front Gate!) and Universal Studios. The most fun tour we did was the TMZ tour where you get to see all the sites of Hollywood with added Celebrity dirt…and plenty of laughs! One last little holiday tidbit: FOOD! We ate so fucking much I put on about 8 kilos (17 pounds). We visted the Outback Steakhouse for a taste of ‘home’. We did pass by a Heart Attack Grill restaurant in Vegas, but unfortunately it was closed. Would have loved to eat there just for the experience and with a couple of more weeks of eating in the US I probably would have qualified for the over 350lbs eats for free rule.
Best. Holiday. Ever.
# 5 The New DC 52
I admit it. I was a skeptic. I mean relaunch the whole universe? Everything back to # 1? Even Detective? Are they MAD??
I am reading more DC titles now than ever. So something is sure as fuck working! The relaunch is really drawing in a lot of new readers either. My mate who hasn’t touched a DC title in years is now reading about 20 of them. Which is a bonus for me cos I get to read his titles as well. Hashtag. Winning.
Here are my faves:
Detective Comics. Tony Daniel has really stepped his game up. I enjoyed his run on the (pre-52) Batman but it never felt essential and sideline characters like Catgirl (while cute) just never really clicked. He is really knocking it out of the park with this one. Dark and gritty but original enough to still retain interest. The cliffhanger ending of # 1 featuring the Joker left me speechless.
Batman. Scott Snyder’s run on (pre-52) Detective was one of the best Bat-stories ever. While his Batman ‘Society of Owls’ arc is still warming up I like where it is heading so far. Capullo’s art is 90s throwback (not a bad thing). I met this dude at Supanova. He was a really nice guy.
Justice League Dark. I almost wasn’t going to read this one but my love of Zatanna swayed me round. This title is brilliant. The exploration of the Deadman/Dawn relationship is interesting as is Shade and his make believe girlfriend. What is Madame Xanadu up to exactly?
Bird of Prey. I didn’t think anyone could top Gail Simone on Birds of Prey. Duane Swierczynski proved me wrong. Yes. I had to google his name. Katana is SO badass.
# 6 Hooters
Welcome to Hooters!
Probably the single thing I missed most about the United States is Hooters! Man I love that place. A decent meal at a decent price coupled with big tittied gals. There is absolutely nothing bad about the situation.
An added bonus is that it is perfectly acceptable to take your wife there. Unlike a strip club. It’s also a fuck load cheaper than a strip clubs. So to the Hooters girl I visited in Las Vegas, New York, Miami, Anaheim and Hollywood (twice) and to Hooters girls all over the world…you rock!
We really need more of these restaurants in Australia.
# 7 Films
So this is a 10 Ten list within a 10 Ten list. I know…so fuckin’ META.
Here we go:
Black Swan. An amazing film. Not just because of the Mila Kunis/Natalie Portman lesbian sex scene. Although that certainly helped (the Natalie masturbation scene was probably even hotter. yowza.) A great dark psychological thriller with amazing visuals and a director working at the absolute top of his game.
Drive. Nicolas Winding Refn officially now one of my favourite directors. Although set in the current day the 80s music and Ryan Gosling’s jacket give this picture a real Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Vibe.
Moneyball. I know absolutely nothing about Baseball but I think any sport lover will enjoy this film. A great underdog story and fascinating insight into the building a championship team in the era of free agency and massive budgets.
Snowtown. A hard film to recommend. Chilling and confronting but worth a watch. Tells the story of one of the most infamous serial killers in Australian history. Daniel Henshell as Bunting is stunning and will hopefully get some recognition at the AFI awards.
We Need To Talk About Kevin. Pair this one with Eraserhead for the perfect double billing of films you absolutely should not watch when expecting a baby. Tilda Swinton and breakthrough talent Ezra Miller are both outstanding. Given the dark vibe there is a surprising amount of humour in this one. Black humour of course.
Red Dog. Great heartwarming aussie film about the adventures of a dog in the outback. It sounds corny as fuck and really ‘ocker’ but works suprisingly well. I challenge anyone not to tear up at the end. sniff.
Sucker Punch. Vanessa Hudgens. Jamie Chung. Fantasy cosplay outfits. Need I say more? The only problem was the cinema not selling kleenex at the candy shop.
Thor. Aussie boy Chris Hemsworth was perfect casting for the God of Thunder. Never really got into Thor as a comic character (all that ‘verily’ and ‘thee’ left me cold) but really enjoyed the movie. We all knew Kenneth Branagh could handle the Shakespearean family turmoil but he also staged some fantastic battle scenes.
Captain America. Cap rounded out the one-two Marvel 2011 double-punch. Bold move to set this in WWII but the nostalgia angle really works as does the ‘never quite resolved’ relationship with Peggy Carter. Looking forward to The Avengers in 2012.
Scream 4. I love Slasher movies and the original Scream worked as both a loving tribute and effective slasher in it’s own right. 2 and 3 were entertaining but never as witty or scary as the original. Scream 4 is a welcome return to form and cleverly tackles the ‘remake’ craze that is currently overtaking Hollywood.
A special shout-out goes to X-Men: First Class. Reinventing the X-Men as a 1960s spy thriller. Whoda thunk that would work? But it did. Expect for January Jones as Emma Frost. Terrible casting.
A few that were released in 2011 that I really want to see: Tree of Life, Melancholia, Griff the Invisible & Barney’s Version (just to name a few).
# 8 Asa Akira
Oh. This tumblr is NSFW by-the-way. It will contain boobies. Asa Akira has been on the porn scene since 2008 but 2011 was the year that she really skyrocketed into the stratosphere of APH (that’s asian porno hottie) legends. A girl this good looking could easily sit back and earn dollars of her looks alone but Asa has been consistently upping her game first with anal then with double penetration. She rounded out the year with a 5 man fuck fest for Kink’s Bound Gangbang’s site (check out my extremely NSFW review here). Asa also branched out with her own SK8 Mafia skateboard and a great t-shirt from TITS (which I totally own…but have yet to wear out in public).